As a young girl growing up in Tottenham, my mother used to ‘press’ my hair. Because it was unusually long (I’m quite dark skinned so it was considered an anomaly), it didn’t make me popular amongst my black peers and of course, to white girls I was still black. But my mother insisted that I should ‘straighten’ my hair because it was time consuming if it was kept natural, and because she wanted to show me off to her friends. And in those days you didn’t challenge your parents. I was supposed to be proud of being blessed in this way but I was not. It just left me miserable. The key thing is how we, black women, so much despised who we were and our looks and wanted so much to be white – I included, even though I was not exempt by having long hair. However I do remember teachers, and some white girls commending me that I had the ‘best looking hair that they have seen a black girl’ but ‘compliments’ could only take me so far.

And of course there are the practicalities of having long straightened black hair: running out of the rain or keeping away from anything that resembles water; retouching the virgin bits of hair every three months; hair gradually falling out due to chemical left on too long or the weight of the hair being too heavy (??); when they style that you’ve worked so hard to resemble (in those days it was Farah Fawcett-Majors just ends up looking too dry and sticking out, then the whole thing is defeated.

Some thirty years on, I constantly keep my hair in braids/extensions and really love my look (after all black skin does age well). But the fight now is to convince my daughter that she should keep her hair in braids but she wants to relax her hair and look like Raven! I guess it will always be a fight to make sure that black skin/hair is fairly presented along side with long flowing curls.

I read the article A Firebrand Leader in the Making in today’s British Guardian.  Before reading the blog, one of the bloggers inserted the YouTube clip which features the South African presenter Deborah Patta interviewing Julius Malema, leader of the ANC Youth league. I normally complain about how blacks are treated in the British media but viewing this clip, I’ve not come across anything as patronizing and contemptuous as this.

The presenter says in her intro that he is seen as a ‘buffoon’ and that it should be put to the ‘test’.  Of course the whole point of the programme is for her to take the mick and to make him look a fool.  The interesting thing is he comes across as a gentleman and does not rise to the bait. 

Fine, he is not articulate (maybe English is not his first language!) and maybe he does not have a degree in Sociology so that he can give us a clear cut definition of class and where he thinks he belongs. But do we really expect him to get it 100% right!   The white working class (British) moved out in droves to this new land in hope to emulate the lifestyles of their ‘betters’ in the old country but having lived in South Africa myself I was surprised, no shocked, in how the WWC lived in their big houses and pools with scared and anxious domestic staff. And yet the WWC managed to occupy management positions without having any qualifications whatsoever! Yeah maybe I was a tad jealous as I know occupying such positions back in the UK would have been impossible without qualifications so if you guys were able to get away with that, I don’t think it’s fair that you should expect much more from Malema. 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/dec/03/julius-malema-south-africa-leader

My family and I spent last Christmas and New Year in Dubai (2008).  We chose the sumptuous JW Marriott Hotel which is in Deira. The day after we arrived, we decided to look around this strange environment.  I say strange as I have to remind myself (or even pinch myself) that all that lay before me was once upon a time a desert.  Thanks to the vision of the current ruler, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum, who was responsible for single handedly converting this expanse of land into an opulent oasis.  The malls were beautiful, and I mean all of them; although transport at the time was a problem (I understand now, there is an over ground rail) there were loads of taxi that was always available at the click of a finger; the ice rink and the ski ramp (Snow Park), the water park (Wild Wadi) the kids went to these on a daily basis. 

As I said before the hotel we stayed was beautiful but where we had Xmas meal, in one of the restaurants in Burg Al –Arab Hotel, the 7 star hotel, was simply out of this world. Whether it was the glass you drank from or the lift that took you to the top floor or the way you were handled at reception, it was all just simply exquisite.  The meal we had was a seven course meal, and we thoroughly enjoyed it.  To see in the New Year we went to Bab Al Shams Hotel.  Again, another extravagant hotel that was in the desert. I read in Time Out Dubai that they were one of many hotels to hold a ‘party’. We hired a taxi and it took over an hour to get there, and it was scary as there was a desert storm on and the driver drove at 5 miles an hour as he couldn’t see anything! But finally we got there and ate and danced ourselves silly to RnB/Arabic music.  It was great! 

I write this now as Dubai seems to be in the storm these days about how the desert dream has turned into a nightmare. That the vision of the current ruler was way too ambitious and the banks were too keen to arrange the billion dollar loans.  But having been there myself, I have to wonder if it’s conceivable that shoppers would visit the malls – especially the ones that sell only designer labels – on a day to day basis and buy these goods; whether the many restaurants would have constant patrons; whether the stars that are flown in to attend one function or the other would have fans to justify the amounts paid to these celebrities for being there.  Having read the Dubai English papers, the Dubais are angry at the criticisms and feel that outsiders are ‘jealous’ at them for even daring to dream such a dream.  Although I enjoyed my time there and wouldn’t mind visiting the place again, I do pity Dubai and pray that they will get support to take them out of this predicament.

The friendly face of racism?

Never thought the day would come when I would write something on my blog about Nick Griffin, leader of the British National Party.  I guess this shows how far Old Nick has come. The annoying BBC with its need to show ‘due impartiality to a legally constituted party’ has made this man’s wishes come true by giving him all the publicity he needs and therefore enabling 1 in 5 people in Britain to vote for the BNP. Doesn’t Auntie ever learn?

The man tried hard to show himself as the friendly race of racism, that he can hate blacks but still sit next to them and smile with them.  And on top of that, he has the nerve to say he is neither a Nazi nor a racist. I wonder what he will say next.  Perhaps he will be disgusted with Peter Tatchell’s view that Malcolm X was gay or that Martin Luther King had extra-marital affairs.

Why has Obama spoken briefly about the death of MJ? Could it be there are more pressing problems with the riots in Iran or the kidnapping of the president in Honduras? Yeah, well we know he has to pay attention on these urgent and important matters. But my family and friends debate if Obama, although being fifty percent white, prides himself as ‘Black’ would therefore find MJ’s (who is 100% black) personal contempt of his own ‘blackness’ unpalatable. How, then can the first Black premier of the West stand side by side with another Black premier of the pop world when they do not have anything in common when it comes to identity.

I grew up with this man. I danced alone, daily, in my front room to ‘Looking through the Window’; I wanna go where you are; I want you back and other popular Jackson 5 hits. We communicated daily: he sang and I listened and danced.  For a few years I didn’t hear from him but it didn’t matter as I still played his singles and albums as I knew he would contact me.  And then he did.  He was loyal as he was the kind of person not to let me down.  He released Thriller and Bad, and I was proud, so grateful each time I listened to these masterpieces. His music was comforting, supportive – a  friend even, never disappointing but was so uplifting and stirring.  When I learned of his death strangely enough I wanted to visit my blog on WordPress, and then I saw the Yahoo headline – Michael Jackson dies. I quickly turned on the TV and switched to CNN; Sky and BBC and they were all reporting this total shock. I wake my husband (we are also 50), speak to my brother and call my son and we all just simply cannot believe it.

I don’t care what the man did in his later life as the controversy that surrounded him can never, ever erase the way he made me feel so important in my front room. I thank you Michael for being my friend.

Paul and wife, Janet.

So, Janet Boateng has embarrassed her husband, the current British High Commissioner for South Africa, Paul Boateng, by allegedly bullying her staff.  You may think, what is the big deal about this story.  The big deal is, Paul and Janet are Black and staff in their home is predominantly Black. Given the history of the two, Janet, a former Labour Councillor who successfully managed to prevent White families from adopting Black children, on the grounds that White people could not begin to comprehend racism and Paul, the first Black government minister, there is the feeling that they should have known better.  Between herself and her husband, back in the day, they were vociferous in fighting against injustice and inequality, especially when it came to Black people.  I remember seeing Paul Boateng, one of the few Black faces, always ready to speak out against racism, cleverly articulating the Queen’s English to the max.  He spoke out even more when the British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, sent troops to Iraq.  Boateng was rewarded by being sent South Africa.  But then that’s another story.  The one I want to talk about is that now we have a Black President in the White House, and more and more Blacks taking on high profile positions around the World, I wonder how they cope, leading a

Black staff who must obey and indulge their every whim and must not answer back. 

I, a Black woman, married to a high profile Black achiever well known in this country (somewhere in East Africa), finds it an ongoing dilemma.  We came to this land about 18 years ago to work for a well known international organisation. What made the whole thing exciting were the perks – the mansion, the grounds, the pool and sauna and gym, and of course, there is the staff.  One qualified, uniformed cook, two house-helps and two drivers plus security men. There were private schools for the children which was heavily subsidised.  Initially, of course, I was over whelmed by what I had gained but given my humble background (back in Manchester) and life experiences, I was conscious of not taking advantage of the staff, always thanking them each time they brought me a cup of tea (and belting the kids around their heads whenever they didn’t say ‘thanks!’), making sure I brought presents each time I returned from an overseas trip.  For several years, it was all bliss until things started to happen making me realise that my ‘niceness’ was perceived as being weak.  For instance, I would ask the helper to sweep the floor in the living room.  When I leave to do something and then return, the helper is lying on the couch, reading one of my magazines.  This continues until I do something that I have not done in a while and that is argue.  She threatens to hit me and I have no choice but to call in security to have her removed from the house.  I walk in on the cook only to find him watching the cartoon, Tom and Jerry on the TV, and the steak he is supposed to be cooking, is burning to high heavens.  When I challenge him, his eyes are glazed due to the wine he has drunk (and nicked!) and he refuses to leave. I leave to call the security; he slams the door and stands in front of it, not allowing me (and the children) to leave. Luckily, the security can see what is happening through the window and knocks firmly, gaining the attention of the cook, who eventually lets us out. When I sacked another cook for mixing up a strange concoction then refusing to tell me what it is made of, he turns up two days later at my company and threatens me.  The worst of these experiences is of a woman who had worked for me for three years. When she stopped seeing her boyfriend, he decided to pay her back by showing me all the things she had stolen from the house. I was devastated and although I don’t know all the facts, something tells me these experiences are not too different from what Janet was encountering. 

Beautiful home in Cape Town.

But other then all of these experiences, there is another factor. I think, since I’m responsible for the upkeep of the house, I have to set rules but because I am Black there is some deep inherent thought within the staff that I am meant to treat them differently, i.e., there is no master and servant relationship here. We are all Blacks, so we are ‘friends’. I state this as I know there are rich White households elsewhere in this country and everybody knows their place. The article I read stated that the complaints were not against Paul but against Janet.  Well, of course Paul will not be ‘attacked’ because he is not dealing with the staff on a day to day basis, but Janet is. Janet, (and perhaps me), is only a human being. We are bound to get it wrong, bound to go overboard in imitating our colonial masters and still expect to be loved irregardless; because of our new found status we expect everyone to bow and curtsey, figuratively that is, at all times.  Janet, I’m sure made mistakes but I’m also sure that her staff had certain expectations from her which were not fulfilled. The woman, at the end of the day, sees her job as making sure her husband’s environment is comfortable at all times and she is determined to do that. I can’t believe that former wives at the High Commission were always polite to their staff. Here, where I live, everybody shouts at their staff.  And that’s the truth and I hope Michelle Obama takes note

.

Last Sunday (9/11/08) it was reported in one of the British tabloids that African Americans ‘really think that things will change – for them.’ Peggy Joseph who was at an Obama rally told a TV interviewer: “I won’t have to pay for my petrol anymore.  I won’t have to work to pay my mortgage. He’s going to help me.”  Somewhere else in Washington, near a popular market, Isaac Johnson was wandering around in a dream like state with tears running down his cheeks, repeating “We’ll get respect now, we’ll get our dream.”  But will Obama actually do something for African Americans?

The Obama camp has help to put some distance between him and African American problems. “President-elect Obama did not put himself forward as an African-American president; he put himself as an American who happens to be black.” Said Colin Powell.  The report went on to say that Obama cannot risk being too caught up with favouring blacks if he wants to still remain popular with the other multi-racial communities that put him into office.  He also has no choice but to distance himself from the likes of Jesse Jackson, Sharpton and Farrakhan.

However, some blacks are already reporting that they are getting better tables at restaurants because maitres d’ think they may know the new president, so change is taking place. But joking aside, I do hope that everyone realises that how this job is going to be challenging and that not only does he need the support but also tolerance and understanding for those inevitable mistakes he will make.

Where were you when Barack Obama claimed victory and what were you doing?

Unfortunately I was fast asleep but at 5:30am, my husband switched on the light and shouted “He’s done it. The man has won!!  I smiled briefly and nodded off back to sleep thinking I was still in a dream  A few hours later, I woke up to see my husband still glued to the TV, and that’s when I realised it was for real. Obama, an African American, had won. I reminded my husband that he would be late for work.  He told me about the interview with Gore Vidal and Oprah. 

I’m now watching the TV, and at the same time checking my watch as I will have to leave for work but I wished I had the energy to stay up all night. But never mind, as I wrote else where on my blog, it is a great day.  Let us know what you were up to when it was declared that Obama had won the Presidency.

America, I’m so proud of you.  Congratulations!!